


Chemical Burn Kisses

by Fire_Rose17



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Geass Valentines 2017, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Graphic Violence, although it's left ambiguous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 13:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9728624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Rose17/pseuds/Fire_Rose17
Summary: “You said it yourself, remember? When we were children. Together we can do anything. Well, we’re going to create a new world, Suzaku. I’ll carry you through it – kicking and screaming – and in the end you will thank me.”The fight club au no one asked for





	

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt for Geass Valentines 2017 was "angst", which turned into "fight club au". This is apparently what happens when my prompts aren't specific. But no one gets stabbed or references stabbing this time, so that's something, right?

It wasn’t, by any stretch of imagination, a good job. Long hours in the hot sun hauling construction materials and hanging from perilous heights. Safety standards were a joke, vacation time a fairy tale, the foreman barely gave his workers time to eat or piss, and none of the workers would reap any of the benefits of the buildings they were constructing. But the job paid, no matter how meager a sum, which was the most an Eleven could hope for these days.

 

Suzaku could easily have been bitter about this, but most of the time he was too tired to complain. So when his coworkers gathered in the local bar to drink and commiserate, Suzaku preferred to just go home and sleep. Britannia had occupied Japan for most of his life, after all. He was used to the mistreatment and discrimination and had very little too compare it to. He at least was young and strong, well-suited towards construction, unlike many of the old timers whose backs strained under the weight and hot sun during the day and at night would drink contraband sake and tell wistful stories of the good old days.

 

Suzaku always felt uncomfortable at these gatherings. Talk of Japan inevitably brought up memories of his home’s final moments, of wandering down a road splattered with bodies, hand in hand with another boy while the weight of a little girl warmed his back—

 

But they were gone. Japan was gone. There was no use getting angry about it. Better to accept the world as it was than to chase times gone by.

 

Perhaps if he had just gone to bed instead of the bar he would have stuck to these beliefs, maybe his life would have remained static and mundane. But Tamaki had somehow found out that it was his birthday and made it his personal mission to drag Suzaku out after work.

 

“Come on!” Tamaki said. “It’s your birthday, and if anyone needs to relax it’s you. When was the last time you got drunk and laid?”

 

Suzaku sighed. “Fine, I’ll go.” He honestly didn’t have much interest in alcohol or sex, but it was much easier to go with the flow than try to fight it, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually _slept_ anyway. The nightmares always kept him up and alert.

 

Tamaki’s generosity extended as far as buying the first round before abandoning Suzaku for the first reasonably attractive girl who was willing to smile at him. Suzaku expected nothing less. He took small sips from his cup and enjoyed the hum of the crowded bar without directly participating.

 

He was working up a decent buzz when the stool next to him was occupied.

 

“Drinking alone? And on your birthday of all days. That is very sad.”

 

Suzaku wasn’t sure how Tamaki had found out about his birthday, but he wished he wasn’t quite so free with the information. He glanced up—

 

And froze as he met pale skin and violet eyes.

 

“Lelouch,” he whispered.

 

Lelouch smiled. “It’s been a long time, Suzaku.”

 

Suzaku shook his head. “No – you – you can’t! You’re dead! I saw you die!”

 

“Looks can be deceiving,” Lelouch assured him. He took Suzaku’s hand and put it on his chest. “Forget your eyes. What do you feel?”

 

A strong, steady heart beating in synch with Suzaku’s pulse.

 

“Lelouch,” Suzaku breathed, “Lelouch, where have you been?”

 

“Looking for you,” Lelouch replied, taking Suzaku’s hand off his chest an entwining their fingers. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

They made it as far as the parking lot. Suzaku had questions on his lips, but found no breath to ask them when Lelouch pulled him into a discreet nook and into a kiss. Suzaku had thought about Lelouch a lot in the years, but mostly it was the eight year old boy in his memories, how he had looked in those summer days they had spent together, or in his nightmares the glazed look of his corpse when Suzaku had been forced to leave him forever.

 

But Lelouch wasn’t dead. He was alive and in his arms. Not the boy in his memories, but a beautiful young man, and Suzaku had never wanted anyone more.

 

“I missed you,” Suzaku whispered against Lelouch’s neck. “So much.”

 

Lelouch stroked his back. “I’m here now. I won’t leave you again.”

                       

Suzaku would have been happy to stay there forever, pressed in a dark corner with Lelouch in his arms, but it was hardly a suiting place for a reunion, so when Lelouch asked to go back to Suzaku’s apartment, he was all too happy to comply. Together, they crossed the bar parking lot, Lelouch was partially supporting Suzaku as he stumbled forward. Suzaku’s dizziness had less to do with the drink and more to do with unexpected reunions and even more unexpected kisses. Nothing felt quite real anymore, and some part of him was terrified that this was a hallucination induced by alcohol and sleep deprivation. He stumbled a bit, trying to find his feet, and inevitably bumped into a young man of equal or greater inebriation.

 

He hadn’t hit him hard, of that much, Suzaku was certain, but it didn’t take much to upset the man’s equilibrium. His face flushed red from anger and the drink, and he spurted upright, fists out.

 

“Watch it!” the man screeched.

 

Suzaku winced. “Sorry, sorry.”

 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it!” the man said. His shirt was wet, likely a casualty in the fall. “You owe me a beer!”

 

Lelouch wrinkled his nose. “I think you’ve had enough.” He turned, dismissing the drunk, and as Suzaku was still somewhat attached to him, Suzaku had no choice but to turn away as well.

 

The drunk growled and Suzaku saw the first punch coming from his peripheral vison. Instinct took over, and he caught the blow neatly and pulled the man’s legs out from under him for the second time that night.

 

He barely even seemed to register that he was on his ass yet again. The man was up with impressive speed, snarl set and fists raised. Suzaku matched him blow for blow. He hadn’t been in a fight in years, but his body still remembered its training. He could practically hear Tohdoh’s voice in his ear, guiding him through the motions. But the drunk kept coming, getting back up every time Suzaku knocked him down, even managing to get in a few hits of his own, and eventually Suzaku got lost in the movement and adrenaline. It had been a long time since he’d felt so _alive_.

 

When Suzaku came back to himself, the man was down for good, face a mess of blood and bruises. He lay sprawled on his back, and he was _laughing_.

 

By that point, they’d gathered a crowd of gaping bar flies. Tamaki was among them, staring at Suzaku like a stranger. Someone stepped forward, and it was a face that Suzaku recognized.

 

“Can I go next?” Kallen asked, red hair bright against the lights of the parking lot.

 

They got into position. Kallen was much, much better than Suzaku’s previous opponent. She was quick, with strong kicks and excellent footwork, and Suzaku ended up on his back more than once. He honestly wasn’t sure which of them won that fight, because one opponent just seemed to meld into another. Suzaku stopped seeing faces, just the flurry of attack and movement.

 

When Suzaku finally pulled himself away, people had paired themselves off, fights were going on all over the parking lot and into the street. Lelouch was the only one not participating, leaning against the brick of the bar and observing Suzaku with a smile on his face. He met Suzaku’s gaze and walked over with slow even steps. His eyes were dilated. He leaned forward and kissed Suzaku’s bruises.

 

“Fuck me,” Lelouch whispered into Suzaku’s ear. “Now.”

 

Suzaku would never be sure how he got Lelouch home. One moment they were at the bar, the next Suzaku was pressing Lelouch into his bed and kissing at his collarbone.

 

It was only afterwards, when they’re naked and wrapped around each other that it occurred to Suzaku to finally ask questions.

 

“What about Nunnally?” Suzaku whispered. Lelouch stiffened in his arms, and Suzaku knew his answer.

 

“Nunnally’s gone,” Lelouch said at last.

 

Suzaku closed his eyes, images of Nunnally’s tiny body on his eyelids. She had been hurt, unable to walk, so he and Lelouch had taken turns carrying her. She’d been on Suzaku’s back when she died. How long had it taken for him to notice that she hadn’t been moving? How long had he carried a corpse?

 

“But you were dead,” Suzaku said quietly. “And now you’re here. So why can’t—”

 

“There won’t be another miracle, Suzaku,” Lelouch said, rolling to his side, out of Suzaku’s reach. “The universe isn’t that kind.”

 

Tears fell, wetting Suzaku’s pillow. “I’m sorry.”

 

Lelouch turned back to face him, expression softening as his fingers brushed the damp trails of Suzaku’s face. “You didn’t take her. Britannia did.”

 

There was an edge to Lelouch’s voice, a steely glint in his eye Suzaku had never seen before. “Lelouch…”

 

“Hush. Let’s not talk about this anymore,” Lelouch whispered. “You need to sleep.”

 

His hand went over Suzaku’s eyes, veiling them in blackness, and Suzaku slept.

 

***

 

Suzaku woke up alone, and for a horrifying moment he was certain that last night was a dream. Lelouch was still dead, he was still alone, with only an empty bed and a sad fantasy to keep him company.

 

But then he smelled the coffee.

 

“I made toast,” Lelouch announced, stepping into the bedroom with a plate and a mug. “You don’t have anything else.” He was wearing one of Suzaku’s shirts, the material just barely reaching his thighs. Suzaku waited for him to place the food on the nightstand before pulling Lelouch into his lap. Lelouch let out a startled yelp, but soon relaxed into the hold.

 

“You’re real,” Suzaku murmured, nuzzling Lelouch’s neck.

 

Lelouch sighed. “As real as you are.”

 

“I just don’t get how you can be here. I saw you die, Lelouch. I thought –”

 

“A woman saved me,” Lelouch explained. “She took me in and raised me.”

 

“I should’ve stayed with you, then,” Suzaku said. “I never should have left. I’m sorry—”

 

Lelouch rolled his eyes. “How were you to know? You were a child, Suzaku. You were scared and in many ways in even more danger than I was. We found each other. That’s all that matters.”

 

“I suppose you’re right…” Suzaku said.

 

“Of course I’m right,” Lelouch said firmly. “Now let me up so we can eat.”

 

They spent the morning talking. Suzaku didn’t have to go into work until the afternoon and Lelouch had the day off. He was apparently in law school and working as a teaching assistant, so his schedule was fairly erratic.

 

“What were you doing in a Japanese bar, anyway?” Suzaku asked.

 

“I like the atmosphere,” Lelouch replied. “Britannian bars always stink of drunken pretension. And besides, they’re good places for information. I said I was looking for you, didn’t I?”

 

“All these years?” Suzaku asked.

 

Lelouch smiled at him fondly, cupping Suzaku’s cheek. “Of course. I knew I’d reach you someday.”

 

They kissed again, and there was just enough time before the start of Suzaku’s shift for a shared shower. Lelouch ended up walking Suzaku to work and even hanging around near the construction with his head stuck in a book as Suzaku did his time. Suzaku had no idea how Lelouch got away with this, for he had to be breaking about twelve safety violations, but no one paid him any mind.

 

The atmosphere around the construction site was unusual, far more upbeat than Suzaku could remember it being. The workers all seemed to have a spring to their steps, and they kept smiling and nodding whenever they met Suzaku’s eye. Suzaku was baffled by the change. He certainly had a reason to be cheerful, but he had no idea why the mood was so infectious.

 

“There you are!” It was Tamaki, grinning widely and slapping Suzaku on the back. “Wild night, huh? I had no idea you had it in you!” Tamaki was sporting a nasty bruise on his cheek and a bandaged right arm and it was only then that Suzaku noticed a pattern. Everyone was bruised in some way. A black eye here, a split lip there, and many noticeable limps.

 

“Tamaki, is there anyone here that _didn’t_ get in a fight last night?” Suzaku asked.

 

Tamaki laughed. “A think a few pussies just watched, but most everyone else got in on the action. You should know! You fought more than anyone else.”

 

Suzaku remembered the fighting, the rush of adrenaline, the ache in his arms and fists, and he shivered.

 

Tamaki leaned forward conspiratorially. “In fact, me and the guys were talking, and we thought maybe we could do it again tonight. Same time, same place, you know?”

 

Suzaku leaned back. “I don’t know…”

 

Tamaki slapped Suzaku’s back again.  “Just think about it, man. You were amazing back there. Wouldn’t be the same without you.”

 

Suzaku did think about it. He mulled over the idea all day, but he just couldn’t see why anyone would willingly come so they could get beat up.

 

“That’s easy,” Lelouch replied when Suzaku met up with him after his shift. They had stopped at a fast food restaurant to eat, and Lelouch was picking through his salad, wrinkling his nose at a rotten cherry tomato. “Stress relief.”

 

Suzaku raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

 

“Think about it. You’re all Japanese, second-class citizens, unnoticed and unappreciated by society. So you do what you have to in order to survive. You work the menial jobs, you shoulder the insults, the injustices, and you just keep taking it and taking it because it’s the only thing you can do when everyone is against you. That kind of stress builds and builds until finally, you punch something,” Lelouch smacked his hand against the table. “And for a moment, you can just forget everything and let it all go.”

 

Suzaku snorted. “That’s ridiculous.”

 

Lelouch smirked. “Is it? I saw you out there. Admit it, Suzaku. You liked fighting. It was a thrill.”

 

Suzaku stared down at his burger, unable to meet Lelouch’s eyes.

 

“Oh, come on. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anyone needs that stress relief, it’s you. And besides,” Lelouch curled his fingers under Suzaku’s chin, voice low. “I thought you looked kind of sexy.”

 

Suzaku blushed, and soon he found himself standing back in that parking lot, looking into a crowd of eager faces. They looked at him expectantly, and Suzaku realized that as the one who had been the first to fight, he had been elected as de facto leader.

 

Suzaku shifted his weight from one foot to another, knowing a speech was expected but unable to find any words.

 

“It seems to me,” Lelouch stepped in smoothly, “that we need to lay some ground rules.”

 

Suzaku would’ve expected someone to protest Lelouch’s involvement. He was Britannian after all, and he hadn’t even fought last night, but Lelouch was a prince through and through. He commanded authority and respect, and with Suzaku close to his side, no one was about to go against him.

 

“I’d say the first is: don’t talk about fight club. The authorities get nervous when large groups of Japanese gather enough as it is, and I doubt they’d view it any more kindly with violence thrown into the mix.”

 

There were nods and murmurs of agreement, and Lelouch allowed it to die down before pressing on. “Just to emphasize how important it is, the second rule is also: don’t talk about fight club. Our anonymity is our strength.”

 

Most of the rest was just common sense. Only one fight and two guys at a time, no weapons, fight ended if someone surrenders or is unconscious. Nobody objected, and the fights began in earnest.

 

They settled into a pattern. They fought after work every Friday, as trying to go every night ended up being far too grueling for anyone to tolerate. Suzaku still fought more than anyone else. His prowess had taken on practically mythic proportions, and he rarely lost. Every meeting new people showed up, and while Lelouch lamented the clear violations of rules one and two, he made no effort to dissuade newcomers.

 

The only person who never fought was Lelouch. It was strange, for fight club’s unofficial rule was that you had to fight at least once, yet no one questioned his presence or tried to challenge him. Lelouch just had the air of someone who should not be messed with, despite his waifish frame, and Suzaku fought enough for the both of them anyway.

 

And besides, Lelouch was essential to fight club’s operation. He was the one who got them organized and convinced the owner of the bar to let them gather in his basement. Suzaku had no idea how he managed this, but when he asked Lelouch had simply replied that he had ways of getting what he wanted before pulling Suzaku to the bed.

 

Between the fights and Suzaku’s newfound sex life, he was constantly aching and bone tired, but happier than he could ever remember being – which was of course why it all had to come to an end. Because Lelouch was not content with good sex and meaningless fights. Lelouch was angry. Suzaku had realized this early on. It was hiding underneath the surface, simmering whenever he spoke about Britannia. Suzaku suspected that Lelouch had never really grieved for his sister, just internalized in under a veneer of rage, and unlike the members of fight club, it didn’t do him any good to release that anger through his fists. He wanted revenge and Lelouch was a master at making others want what he wanted.

 

Suzaku honestly should’ve seen the shift coming, but the process was so gradual. Lelouch’s speeches got just a little more heated, with the audience responding in kind. Fight club began meeting more frequently, with their members growing every day. Lelouch began handing out “homework” - basic training, reconnaissance assignments. The walls of the basement were covered in maps and plans, and no one would give Suzaku a straight answer as to what they were for. Before Suzaku knew it, uniforms and masks were being donned and weapons were being handed out. They were calling themselves the Black Knights, and Lelouch was known as Zero. Lelouch had even gotten a hold of a few Knightmare Frames.

 

It was with the acquisition of the Knightmares that Lelouch finally clued Suzaku into the plan. By that point, they had moved to a hangar at the edge of town, and Lelouch led Suzaku into it with a spring to his step. He made Suzaku close his eyes as they stepped into the space, and when Suzaku opened them he was faced with a gleaming white monster of destruction.

 

“Its name is Lancelot,” Lelouch murmured, wrapping his arms around Suzaku’s waist. “Beautiful, isn’t it? I saved the best for you. Do you like it?”

 

“Are you insane?” Suzaku demanded, whirling around to face Lelouch.

 

“Of course not,” Lelouch assured him. “I’ve thought this all through and I’m certain that we can succeed.”

 

Suzaku grabbed Lelouch’s shoulders, slamming him against the wall. “Lelouch this is _treason_. You’re going to get everyone killed!”

 

Lelouch pressed back, eyes sparking. “This is _war_ , Suzaku! These people are tired of being pushed down. It’s time they started pushing back. They want to fight! That’s what this whole exercise has been about! Aren’t you _angry_ , Suzaku? Don’t you want to direct that anger at the ones who are responsible?”

 

“I never wanted this!” Suzaku snapped. “Hasn’t there been enough death? Wasn’t Nunnally enough? Don’t pretend that you’re doing this out of some sense of justice! This isn’t about the Japanese or even about Nunnally! This is about you, Lelouch! It’s always been about you!”

 

Lelouch shook his head, leaning his forehead against Suzaku’s. “No,” he said, and he almost sounded…sad. “No, Suzaku. This is about you.”

 

Suzaku looked into Lelouch’s eyes, rimmed with red, and saw the truth.

 

_He was running through a field of sunflowers, Lelouch’s limp body in his arms. He had lost Nunnally at some point, her corpse had slipped off his back, and the guilt was a hole in his gut, but he had to focus on Lelouch. Nunnally was dead, but Lelouch was still breathing, albeit just barely. He needed help, a doctor, anyone—_

_There was a woman standing in the field. She wore a white yukata, and her long green hair blew in the breeze. She regarded Suzaku with a knowing amber gaze._

_“Please,” Suzaku begged. “Please, can you help me?”_

_She reached out and touched his hand. A thousand images flashed before Suzaku’s eyes, images of history and blood and battlefields, and he was standing before the woman, naked and still holding Lelouch._

_The woman pressed her hand over Lelouch’s eyes. Lelouch gasped and fell limp, but before Suzaku could despair, her other hand went over his eyes. Pain burst behind his eyelids, and he felt it. Another presence, thoughts that were not his own. Suzaku screamed into the void._

_When he opened his eyes, he was alone._

Suzaku shook his head, releasing his hold on Lelouch and stepping back. “No.”

 

“Yes,” Lelouch said. “I died that day, Suzaku. I only exist within you.”

 

“No!” Suzaku cried. But it made so much sense. The way everyone seemed to look just beyond Lelouch’s face, how he never directly interacted with anyone but Suzaku, the way he was accepted so easily into the fold, and that little voice, the one he’d tried so hard to ignore, fluttering against his consciousness—

 

“You know it’s true,” Lelouch said. “But it doesn’t change anything. I’m still real, Suzaku. I still love you. Everything I’ve done here has been for you.”

 

Suzaku cradled his head in his hands. “For me? No! Lelouch, please! I don’t want this. I can’t be a part of this!”

 

“It’s too late.”

 

And then Suzaku felt it. The shaking of the earth.

 

“Lelouch,” Suzaku said, voice shaky. “Lelouch, what did you do?”

 

“I created an artificial earthquake. It’s not hard when you ask the right people. Soon, Britannia will come crumbling down. This is only the first step,” Lelouch stepped forward, pulling Suzaku into his arms and kissing his hair. His voice was tender as it spewed poison.

 

“You said it yourself, remember? When we were children. Together we can do anything. Well, we’re going to create a new world, Suzaku. I’ll carry you through it – kicking and screaming – and in the end you will thank me.”

 

Suzaku felt tears coming in the corner of his eyes, but when Lelouch kissed his lips he didn’t resist. He rested in Lelouch’s arms and watched the world begin to burn.

**Author's Note:**

> I may expand on this au at a later date if I'm inspired enough, but I make no promises. I hope you liked it!


End file.
